The plot follows two main storylines: one centres on the emerging love story between two awkward teens, Jens and Lisa, who are having sex for the first time; the second focuses on the eventful quest of Simon the Semen and his friends to reach the golden goal, the Egg.

Tao is a tomboyish university student who supports her studies by writing for her uncle's racy pulp pornographic magazine Sayew, despite the fact that she has never had sex herself. The magazine is struggling financially, so Tao's uncle, Dr. Porn, tells her she needs to spice up her stories or else be sacked. After wri…